With the Middle East Conflagration entering its twenty-sixth year, the India-Pakistan nuclear volley momentarily drawn at 3 pre-emptive strikes each, and the last time we checked, Brazil was still on fire, Southeast Asia is poised to lead the way as the only semi-stable corner of the globe in the mid-21^st century-- a stunning example of how bold economic reforms and social maturity could transform centuries of abuse and mistrust into a tightly woven braid of mutual cooperation. Built on a peculiar house of cards known as the Iron Octopus Accords, The East Asian Alliance united the chief powers in the region through a complicated set of trading balances that covered everything from national security to natural gas. For almost thirty years, these laws worked seamlessly, almost magically, to unite two-thirds of the world’s population under one sub-global umbrella. That is, until yesterday, when all hell broke loose.

Stunning the world, the long-rumored but never confirmed Japanese Dome went up just as The Vietnamese Doomsday assault began on China, while the Korean and Indo-Filipino nuclear navies simultaneously launched their surprise attack on each other. Despite the shocking suddenness of starting WWIV with zero warning, none of this was a surprise to anybody with any experience in foreign policy of the region. While the shills pointed out how this “only goes to show” the treaties’ effectiveness in balancing the various powers because "everyone got fed up at exactly the same time.” Everyone with half-a-brain and an ounce of integrity knew that that all involved parties were just using it as cover to plan a surprise attack on everyone else.

While the mid- and long-term fallout is yet to be calculated, odds for full global engagement dropped significantly after Australia floated an undersea nuclear arsenal into the South China Sea. Threatening detonation unless everyone “backed right the fuck off”, Prime Minister Bruce Hawkins added, “What do we care? We’re literally on fire down here.” All parties agreed to an immediate cease-fire while the veracity of Australia’s statement could be confirmed. The rest of the world, in the meantime, went back to business and resumed their own local wars.